


You'll Come Undone

by Ceminar



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Brain Ghost Cronus, Fantasizing, Humanstuck, M/M, Masturbation, Sexual Fantasy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-11
Updated: 2015-05-11
Packaged: 2018-03-30 01:26:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3918070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ceminar/pseuds/Ceminar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They warned him. Years ago, others told Karkat not to get involved with this man, this... Cronus Ampora. And years later, he still can't stop thinking about him. The voice, the touch that can't be forgotten, the lingering feelings of 'what if?' that keep him from fully moving on take the form of the man in question, tormenting Karkat when he dares let his guard down, when he's vulnerable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You'll Come Undone

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies if the quirk is a bit... Off... Though I admit, dialogue might not be my strong suit, this was really fun to write and I hope you enjoy it!

"Damn... Damn it..." A week. He couldn't even last a week. Eyes screwed shut, the young man found himself squeezing his member tighter than he had a moment ago.

Anything, anyone, other than that... that loathsome, putrid waste of space he found himself woefully attracted to in the most carnal of ways. Fucking... And he only had himself to blame. Don't get involved with That One, his friends had warned. He's no good. Not worth it. But oh, fucking no.

Karkat Vantas just knew better than all of them. Knew better than his friends, knew better than even the friends of the douche nozzle that actively tried to deter him from his goal of 'Taming Cronus Ampora.'

Gritting his teeth at his past foolishness, Karkat could only wish he had listened.

"Wvhat's that matter there, kitten?"

The dark haired young man snarled to himself. No one was there. Not like anyone ever was. It was just him and the near scalding water spraying across his skin, the heat making his naturally dark skin red. But he could hear that FUCKERS VOICE even now. Words that he might say in this situation.

He didn't know if he wanted to punch the physical version of his phantom or himself more. Probably himself.

"Can't keep me off ya mind, huh? Don't blame ya. I'm the absolute shit, you knovw." The voice drifts from one ear to the next, and Karkat shudders. Don't think about it. About him. Focus on what had him in that state in the first place, the newest crush that had him ass over tea kettle. That hunk of a guy Tavros turned into. Holy jocksniffers, talk about an evolution. Karkat never thought he would be attracted to them, yet several ruined pair of boxers proved otherwise. Those muscles, the piercings, the dark fuzz on his-

"Be real here, toots. Ya ain't newver gonna get that. He's just ta tide ya ovwer for me. Ya forget?" Stupid sack of shit. Why is the voice getting lower? Getting deeper? "All I needed ta do wvas touch ya. An not ewven that prick of yours, either."

"Fuck!" Karkat hissed, releasing himself for a moment. Was he pissed? Oh, yes. Yes he was. But Ghost Cronus was right. One hand bracing himself against the wall of the shower, he took the other, caressed his neck, his collarbone. The paths were etched into his memory, but it never had the same effect. Ever.

"Told ya, Kar-Kitten, ain't no one else got that touch. Just me."

"Shut up, you maggot-brained cuntlicker!" Not his best. Not by a long shot. Even his voice wavered as the insult left him, equal parts to frustration and self loathing, as well as digging those blunted nails into the back of his own neck, dragging them down to his shoulder.

Angry red marks would remain for a while, but it didn't matter. Karkat would just cover them with a sweater, pretend he didn't leave them while wishing it was someone else.

"Ya gotta do better than that." There was almost a tickle on his ear this time, but it was ignored, written off as the water dripping from his hair as he worked himself over, trying to get the right touch before giving up with a frustrated grunt.

"This isn't fucking fair. You were..."

"Were what?"

Don't say it. Don't fucking say it.

"My fucking soulmate, dicks for brains." Karkat was never good for taking his own advice. "Not... romantic. Gods, that'd be an even bigger fucking joke than this already is." Giving up, his fingers found their way towards his cock again, squeezing, but doing little else. "We were... we had a special connection... when it came to... that."

"No need to be all shy novw. Came to wvhat?"

The smugness. God, Karkat wanted to kill himself for letting this farce of a conversation go on in his imagination. 

"Fucking around, okay? We had something there. And you can't fucking deny it. Yeah, you... you got me off without having to touch me much, but fuck... that was mutual. I helped you discover shit about yourself, too..."

If they were a bar soap using family, Karkat would have wished he could slip on one. Why admit this now, of all times? Better yet, why admit it at all?

Oh. Right. Because he was an idiot.

He was an idiot that could never go a full month without thinking about the greasy douchebag. And it was his fault, getting drawn in like that. Not like it was a 'You were my first time, I love you now' type thing, no no no, ew. They just clicked. After he had made up his mind, Karkat had laid the rules. No dating, but he would be there to listen to him. Cuddling wasn't even mandatory, which was something that would normally be. But what they had wasn't normal. A look, a tone, a text from either party, and they would find themselves together, walking side by side to find the perfect spot, chatting easily about their day. Cronus and band practice, Karkat and lacrosse or schoolwork. Any unworded agitation, stress, anger was melted away when they stopped, when they came together, breathy moans and quiet mutters replacing conversation.

They didn't talk about feelings. They got rid of them for each other. Helped them handle them, cleared each others heads.

"You can't fucking well tell me it wasn't."

Of course, he didn't skip a beat.

"Come on, pal... Ya already knevw wvhat ya wvas getting into. Ya wvas entertainment. You's a real swveet treat, and ya ain't common, I'll givwe ya that, but come on. Ya ain't newver been nothin but a plaything. And by ya owvn rules, I might add. Ain't my fault ya got attached."

There was a thud as Karkat's fist connected with the wall, the clatter of bottles falling. He needed to stop, but his hand was moving on its own, his breath coming in pants. This was his own fucking imagination, but damned if it probably wasn't right. Not like he could even ask the original anyway. He was trying to get over him! But he didn't know Tavros' voice that well, so when it came to thinking of what he would say, he always got... this... the one voice he could never forget.

How many nights had Karkat considered grabbing his phone, or his laptop, looking up this assclown, and demanding to know the truth? Ask him what he really thought of the guy he would randomly bring up past promises too, reminding him of them, telling him that one day, they would do all those things? How many times had Karkat found himself furiously masturbating to memories, touching himself the way Cronus touched him?

"Wvell?" Fuck him. "Come on, ain't ya got somethin more ta say? Oh, right. Ya alwvays got tongue tied around me." That fucking chuckle of his, and Karkat could see how his lips quirked up in that smile that pissed him off but was so damn SEXY. "That, or ya alwvays had ya mouth full. Still got that shirt, too? Remember wvhen I used it to gag ya? Wvho am I kidding... the wvay ya hand is movwing, I'm sure you do."

"Shut... up..." Another hiss. By now, the room is full of steam, even as the water slowly cools. But it does nothing for his near feverish motions, nails dragging down the smooth surface if the wall, teeth digging into his lower lips until a bead of bright red blood falls from it. "Just shut... up..."

"Wvho ya wvanna shut up, kitten? Hm?" Karkat shudders. He can almost feel the weight of him against his back, a hand on his stomach, the other stroking him so crudely, like he would after a rough day, after finding out how much the roughness was actually enjoyed and doing it just for his little Cancer.

His plaything.

"Come on... say my name. Just say it, and I'll fade back into ya memories until ya bring me out again. Say my name, Kitten, and loath yaself ewven more. Say my name so ya can finally cum and pretend it wvas all for that pretty boy on ya computer. Say it, Karkat. Ya knowv I lovwe the wvay ya do it."

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck FUCK.

Knees weak, Karkat surrenders to the orders of his subconscious, moaning out his name, ending it in a choked sob as he body tenses. It's different than when thinking of someone else. There is no spurt of cum to paint the shower wall. It's a messy dribble that drips across his fingers, down to the shower floor to get swept away in the current. Slow and messy and everything he didn't want it to be.

"Fuck... Cronus..." With a sniff, he finally opens his eyes to the brightness of the bathroom, taking in the fallen soap and shampoo without really noticing the displacement. That name is like a curse to him, always leaving his mouth sour. But at least the voice is quieting now, as promised.

"That's my fuckin kitten. Knevw ya still had it in ya. Making the most beautiful music, the prettiest messes..."

Karkat doesn't speak back. Silently, he licks over his lips, finds the still bleeding spot and mentally groans. He washes, careful not to start anything else with himself. 

"Fine. Ignore me for novw, kitten. But I'll be seein ya next time..."

When Cronus' voice fades, the water is already cold. Karkat shuts it off, shivers as he grabs his towel, dries off his body, his hair, and returns to his room. At least no one was home to hear any of that.

Before getting dressed, he sits on his bed, checks his messages to distract himself. Nothing from Tavros, of course. They rarely talk. But Kanaya has left some links for him, and Sollux has a file waiting for him. Probably another virus.

But... there's one site he can't resist going to, typing in that cursed name, face impassive as he reads. Band still on tour, currently three states away. The laughing faces of all the members, wearing their own band shirts. He stares, clicks, and is taken to another page. There, his pathetic heart leaps.

Cronus Ampora is (still) Single. That means... well, nothing, but everything. There's still a chance that he was wrong. That Karkat wasn't just entertainment. And so long as he's single, he can ask without fear of overstepping boundaries.

But Karkat will never ask. He'll let himself be haunted until the siren spell is broken. So what if it's another year?

"Made it this fucking far..." He mumbles, closing out of the tabs. "I'll manage. I have to."

Karkat rises then, heads for his closet. Without the distraction, it finally dawns on him that he's fucking freezing and needs to get dressed, momentarily eyeing the baggy white shirt with the familiar symbol before choosing his favorite black sweatshirt instead, returning to the laptop to return to his waiting friends.

**Author's Note:**

> I really, really have trouble coming up with titles and summaries. If it wasn't for the suggestion of a good friend, this probably would have been stuck with 'Shower Time'. Also, you ever have that moment when you write something that perfectly fits a song you've never heard before? Yeah. That's a thing.


End file.
